There's some things women generally don't talk about after becoming a mom - the gory details of their deliveries (it's all rainbows and babies, right?), the changes in their sexuality and their marriage, but most of all they don't really ever share the negatives and the setbacks in becoming a mom. Don't get me wrong, I love Hudson with my whole heart, and would much rather be with him than doing anything else, pretty much ever, but there are FOR SURE things that I miss about my life before! It's natural, I refuse to feel guilty about it, and I am going to share it with you so we can talk about it! :)
1 - The ability to do whatever I want, whenever I want. If I wanted to stay for drinks with coworkers after work, I could. Two hour bath on a Saturday at noon? Sure! Sleep in until 10PM... always was a good idea. None of these things happen anymore, not without a ton of planning beforehand!
2 - Movies!! Matt and I were huge movie junkies, but now it isn't possible to go see them, unless we get a sitter which we have yet to do. Netflix, it is!
3 - A lack of constant fear - Before Hudson, I of course wished for the health of my husband and family and friends, but I never feared that I would be responsible for anything happening to any of them. Even when Hudson is sound asleep at night, I still fear for him, or that something will happen under my roof.
4 - Planning outfits, and feeling generally more put together - I used to lose hours sometimes trying things on, trying new hairstyles and just having fun being a girl! But now, it's messy top knot and overalls on most days. My style is sort of boring!
5 - Feeling whole while out in the world - Maybe this one is a bit obscure, but when I am out and about without Hudson, I don't feel complete. It feels like people are only getting part of my story. I just want them all to know that I am a new mom, just because. I don't really know why.
6 - Having my social life determine my schedule - Once you have a baby, your day revolves around them. Even if you aren't super strict about naps, they do need to happen, as do feeds, and it's hard to stay out late even for dinner. We always have an exist strategy. Most of my friends have kids, because my friends without kids are doing things I can no longer take part in.
7 - The ability to pick up and go - If I was offered a weekend trip somewhere, or a work trip to Spain, I used to JUMP at this idea. Now I just know it's going to be a whole lot of planning and work to make it happen, which is worthwhile and fine, but it just isn't the same.
8 - Focusing on my relationship - Once you have a baby, most conversations are about the baby, or work. It's hard to force ourselves not to be those people.
9 - Feeling cute in a young + cute kind of way, not a mom kind of way - I used to get dressed and be like "YAY I love what I have on I feel so good!" but now it's usually "I look cute for a mom!" It's like this new title, that is added on to and wrapped in to my being. I don't know if other peoples perception changes of you when you become a mom, but your perception of yourself definitely does.
10 - SLEEEEP! Hudson is sleeping through the night, but I'm still not! Since mid-pregnancy when I would wake up to pee 10948 times, I never slept the same. I don't know if it's anxiety, or just that my to-do list never ends, but my mind races all night long.
Anyway, I didn't mean for this to be a negative post, but I want to be real with you guys! Being a mom is so amazing, but it's also a huge sacrifice! I'd love to hear some things you miss in the comments!